Want to know something really sad?

So Tech finally gave me a class rank after 2 years of waiting. They only give them in the fall and it turns out last fall I was ranked number 4 in my major. That's 4 out of 115 students that are English majors. That's in the top 3%. My rank in the college of Liberal Arts was in the 70's out of a few thousand. Can you believe that? I've dropped a lot after last semester, to be specific my GPA dropped 0.3. In the GPA world that's quite a lot.

It really pains me to finally know that I really, really, really, was as great as I thought I was. And I really could have gotten into any graduate level program that I wanted to anywhere in the country, most likely with a full ride. And I let one dumb semester ruin it for me. One bitter teacher who told me I shouldn't even be in my major, who made me never want to write again. In an instant I flushed all my academic dreams down the toilet.

I just don't know what happened to me. I used to care so much. I'm trying to remember how to get myself back to myself. I'm really trying to work on that. And I'm not doing so well. When I calculated my grade for my first summer class I thought my grade was a 92, but when I checked my grade it was a B. I'm really trying and I'm still failing. I just want to be good at something again. I just can't put my finger on how I derailed. Maybe it's better not to fixate and just try my hardest next semester. I'm trying to get in the mindset to do well then.

I also applied for a part-time Editorial- Assistant position with the Roanoke Times. Hopefully they get back to me, and if not, well, I tried something.