Namaste

Believe it or not I used to be a yoga fiend. I attended classes 2-3 times a week for 1 1/2 hour sessions. For a while yoga was the complete love of my life, I lived it, breathed it, loved it, embraced it. I came to yoga after a really horrible personal experience concerning my spirituality that was very damaging to me emotionally and physically. The core of yoga is balance: emotional, physical, and spiritual balance however that works for you. I will never forget my first night on the mat. I went with my "sister" Sonia, who currently lives in London. She had gone through the same horrible experience with me. It was at the Riverside Wellness and Fitness Center in Gloucester and it was taught by Nancy, who till this day is still the greatest yoga teacher I have ever had. And poor Sonia and I, we were horrible, we couldn't get any of the poses, our forms were terrible .if not dangerous. It was a flaming disaster! But when we were in the last asana which is corpse pose (basically just laying down on your back) we were both crying like idiots. Our bodies were exhausted and that being contrasted with the pure peace of the atmosphere we finally broke and allowed ourselves to feel. It was the beginning of a healing process for me, my emotional healing. The crying lasted for a few sessions, corpse pose, every time, right at the end. After my first night of yoga I couldn't move for a week, I had pushed myself to hard. But I stuck with it. And it was amazing. I counted down the days until I could sweat so much my mat became a slip and slide. I stretched myself, quite literally and I became insanely flexible. And it was great. The best thing about Nancy was how she balanced the exercise of yoga with the human aspects of how you're doing with your life. She was so great to talk to and she never pushed her agendas on you. She wasn't trying to make us all hindus or buddhists she wanted you to make yoga your own: Christian, Muslim, Athiest, what have you. She really embraced a principle of yoga that I love, that we are all united. When I went to college I fell away from yoga. I tried some other places and other teachers but it really wasn't the same. I tried solo but I'm less then motivated to exercise when I'm stressed out and working on school stuff.

For the heck of it I tried some yoga today after putting in a load of laundry. Oh my. I know yoga is about doing what you are capable of and listening to what your body is telling you...but um...I was so tight! I've never been so...just... wow. I've decided that I really need to hit the mat again. Hard. I couldn't touch my toes people! I used to be able to bend over and stand on my hands... As interesting as it was, there were some good things: my balance is better which means that I've become more focused, and the last time I did yoga was 50 pounds ago. I'm not dealing with the same body. Once I get my flexibility back I'll be able to get into poses I couldn't do years ago because of my gut. I don't wiggle in places I used to. That excites me! I'm also stronger, believe it or not. So I'm really going to try to do a little bit every day and work up. I might never be at class level again, which is really ok with me. It would be nice, but I'm not looking for that anymore. I'm trying to find peace with myself, my situation, and get my flexibility back for myself...and well my relationship, laughs.