Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

I know I'm behind on day one, but I can't think of something that I hate about myself. I've started a million drafts! There are about 100 things I don't like, but none of them stand out as something I hate...at least nothing yet, and I've been thinking on it and maybe working myself into a bit of a funk focusing on all the negatives about my appearance and character.

So I'm forging ahead to day 2 with the intention of going back to one.

Something I love about myself is that I have any sort of people skills. That may sound like a weird one, but I was raised by two hermits who found one another and have one of the weirdest relationships I've ever seen. When people ask me about my family I give them the blankest stare...like what's that? I seriously couldn't tell you if my father has ever had a best friend because I've never seen him interact with another male in a fun or recreational capacity. My mother has never once had a dinner party or kept a friend for more than a hot minute. In fact my mother's personality makes things super awkward with people.  It's one of many factors I suspect is behind the distance my half-siblings keep. (I guess I should also throw in there that I love the rents since it seems pretty harsh on them)

Since I'm essentially an only child, I had a lot of issues figuring other kids out. In the 5th grade I actually had someone tell me that the first time they met me they thought I was special-ed. I was, by every definition, a space cadet who spent most of her time reading or playing in the woods making up elaborate worlds in my head (once when it snowed, I spent an entire day pretending I was Mr. Tumnus from The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe)...so I guess I can't be too mad about that comment. Even though it made me cry at the time I'm still in contact with the person who said it.

After a comment like that, it was my personal challenge to throw myself into social situations: birthday parties, clubs at school, etc., but only in small doses. All of them were agonizing, but they helped me gain some experience.  I don't feel bad for missing out on a lot of things.  I selected what I wanted to do based on how much I felt I could handle.  So no regrets.  I spent a lot of great time with people I still consider friends.

Somewhere down the line I became a little bit more extroverted, but it's still a conscious effort.  In college alcohol helped a lot. All of my jobs have involve massive amounts of human interaction: serving at restaurants, daycare, lots of retail, managing, being a receptionist, and now HR.  I've done that on purpose.

I love that I worked on it and got better. I love that I'm comfortable enough to be in a functioning romantic relationship with open communication. Being involved with people was hard, but I didn't have more than 1 or 2 guy friends until college. In fact, my first semester was spent at an all girls college. What was I thinking?

Now my parents think I'm weird and slightly obnoxious because I talk to people. I still only have one or two good friends, but I try really hard to keep up with other folks and I'm still learning. Mr. S's mother is a born extrovert and I analyze her in social situations. Does that make me a creeper?

I know that I'll always be more comfortable reading a book, but maybe one day I'll feel completely comfortable in a crowd and I like that.

My optimism, yeah, I love that too!