I've found a renewed motivation for reading through my book list.  I'm determined, but it's daunting since I'm not even 1/4 of the way through...so I'm "reading" a lot of them on tape.  I don't have time to sit down and do much of anything, but a book on tape I can listen to in the car, while I do laundry, when I'm painting the house, and even when I'm at work.

I used to do this all the time in college, especially with books I couldn't will myself to read.  It  helps when the actor reading the book has different voices for different characters or the book is 1,000+ pages.  Long books take hours and hours and hours and I just don't have that kind of time to sit on my ass.  I really wish I still did.  C'est la vie.

So, I hope it's not considered cheating.  I want to get through the great works of literature, but you know how life gets in the way.  For a good laugh, I recommend Angus, Thongs, and Full-frontal Snogging.  Hilarious! It's basically Bridget Jones for young adults.  I lost it when the 3 year old little sister of the main character, Georgia, told the cute, love interest "Georgie took a big poop this morning!" Yeah, I died.  How random and awkward.

Oh, Sentimental Me.

I heard this song on my way home from work and it really sums up where my head's at right now.

It also made me remember how much of a bad-ass I thought I was when I listened to this CD in the 90's.  Funny how the music in your formative years really stays with you.  Can you also believe I was 8 when this came out?

Rock and Roll...that was complete contraband when I was 8.  Dang. Smuggling banned books and music into my parent's house was the most exciting thing I did growing up.  Ah, memories.

I didn't find Meredith Brooks until I was 13 and the song Bitch changed my life...not really, but once again, I felt completely bad-ass.

Both songs let you know that it's ok to be a walking contradiction and I believe we are all contradictions, if only a little bit or for a little while.  For instance, I'm a "Hippie" that works for "The Man" if you want to break it down to black and white.  Most days I don't know how I really feel about that, but it pays the bills.  The most frustrating part is that I'm there to help people and support them so that they can do their jobs, but I'm stuck in the corporate limbo of what I can and cannot do, which produces a feeling of absolute impotence.  By extension, that also really makes me want to pierce something or get a new tattoo because it feels so nice to see people in suits do a double take when they see my wrist tats.  I know, I'm weird, but I don't make enough money to get so worked up over this stuff.

I'll just leave you with Bitch, in case you don't remember it, and I hope that it makes you feel the bad-assery of it all.  Cause we all want to feel a little bit wicked sometimes, right?

Or I'm having a quarter-ish life crisis. Meh.

In Which I Contemplate Teaching Bram to Kill Petsmart Workers on Sight

Well, our trip to Petsmart started well and ended well, but in between there was a lady I'd really like to punch in the face. Tonight I definitely experienced that feeling parents and pregnant ladies must feel when they get unsolicited advice.

Going anywhere with our dog is almost the equivalent of taking a hyper kid to the zoo.  He gets overstimulated in situations with a lot of people, cars, and smells.  We have to go slow and we have to do a lot of warming up before we go anywhere.  I normally take him for a long walk to wear him out before we get in the car.  Once we're in the car he gets super excited because he loves the car and because he thinks we're going to Grandma's. Once he figures out that we aren't, he gets even more excited.  Once we reach the store we have to do a few rounds in the parking lot so that he gets used to the noise and all the dog smells and everything.  I normally try to get him to focus on me and come when I say his name...or really just to look at me if I talk to him.  It's hard because he really wants to smell things.

So on his walk before we left, he was a champ.  He walked the best on the leash then he has in a long time because I've basically stopped caring if he's right beside me.  My dog is so big, we literally cannot walk abreast on the sidewalk.  So, I let him go in front a little, if he doesn't pull it's a great walk.  I was so proud of him.  At Petsmart he got a little anxious at first, but I used the shopping cart to block his view of the people and other animals and he did really well. He'd get interested in something then we'd tell him to come along and he listened.  Major big-boy steps here!  I should also mention that my dog just turned one. He's the size of a house, but he is still just a puppy.

I've also mentioned his recent issues with his new food and his issues with food in general.  My dog is an anorexic, mostly because he's too excited too eat. He has access to food all day, but he has always been underweight.

So in comes Ms. I'm-A-Trainer-Here.  Ugh. 

"Oh, is that a newfie!  He's so cute!  Have you done lessons with him?" (This whole trip to Petsmart is a lesson, in our opinion)....

"Yeah, we've looked into it."

"Oh, well you should definitely join one of my beginner classes, yada yada."

"Ok, we'll think about it."

"You know, he's really thin for a newfie."

"That's because he doesn't like food."

"What's he eating?"

"Insert the name of super expensive vet recommended food."

"Oh well that's crap, you should get him on holistic dog food."

"Sure, we'll look into it..."(not)

Now, this is the point where I'm getting a little sensitive about the subject because I have literally hand-fed my dog only for him to pretend to eat it and then hide it under furniture.  I've mixed pumpkin, rice, chicken, chicken broth, dog food mixers, refrigerated dog sausage, etc.  You name it and I have tried it.  We've also been through several different types of dog food and the one we use is the one he will eat the most of.

"Oh, well you should mix in soft food with it so that he's interested in it."

Our vet has specifically told us not to use soft food.  It upsets his stomach, like whoa.  And there is nothing medically wrong with him that causes him not to eat, he just doesn't like to do it. He's weird. Meanwhile, Penelope has tried to eat his food, which is why my cats are obese and my dog is a toothpick.

So yeah, this condescending lady that has no idea about my dog's history with his weight and all the things I've tried to do and all the hours of sleep I've lost over it, comes in with her...oh, well you're really bad dog parents look...really?

Our convo goes on about all the bigger dogs she knows that have died so young (really?).  And yes, I know that my dog will be lucky to make it to 10.  I really don't want to think about that because I'd rather love him while I have him. And his hair is course because he's a freakin' water dog with a double coat, unlike your stupid Bernese Mountain dogs and oh I could just go on and on about how much this lady rubbed me the wrongest way possible... but I'll resist.

Instead of wondering around the store some more (and buying more) and really enjoying the fact that we were out in public with our dog and he was doing really well, we took our "crappy" expensive food and went home.

But, the night wasn't all bad.  We stopped at Chick-Fil-A for dinner and he was a celebrity.  I always forget how big my dog really is until other people react to him with "OMGEE, he's effin' huge!  Is that a real dog?" (to which a guy responded "Well, he isn't battery operated").  He got two nuggets and a lot of pets from the lady at the drive-thru....ok everyone who worked there came out to the window to see him. He loved it and I love him and how awesome he is.

Screw you lady at the Petsmart, I definitely won't ever take him to you for lessons and after the debacle that was his first grooming experience there, I wonder why we ever go to Petsmart in the first place?

Well it's almost 5 o'clock and I'm still at work...and it's Friday...that never happens.  Mostly my Fridays consist of me watching the clock tick slowly by, however, today was crazy-town.

Oh well, I at least got to try out a new restaurant today: Eggspectations.  Ever heard of it?  We have one near work and I got to go out with the office ladies to chow down.  Delicious.

Now I'm deciding if I should go to the gym even though I really don't want to go or make a trip to Petsmart because my baby-dog does not like his big-boy food.  He switched to Adult dogfood (Science diet=not cheap) and has thrown it up every time. My poor dog...and my poor carpets...and my poor wallet.

Can it be Thanksgiving break yet?  I need the reminder of all the things I'm thankful for.

Holiday Preview

If you're hip on my facebook life then you know about my most recent spaztastic, special purchase: a record player.  I got it because it can fit under a bed.  My current record player is part of a huge stereo that I have no room for.

The record player fits into this post because the melodious joy that is Billy Joel was the soundtrack of this adventure.  His song Vienna sums me up to a tee.

As you can see, Oliver doesn't know what to think about record players or Billy Joel.  I say he has horrible taste in music.

I digress...because I have been a busy beaver trying to get ready for this holiday season.  If you remember from last year my artificial tree had a very major accident and snapped after 30 minutes of operation.  It was a short life for the tree and a tragic end to many of my ornaments.

We rallied our spirits and got a real tree.  It was very messy and my ornaments were too heavy for the limbs especially as the tree started to loose its umph.

So this summer I scoped out a new artificial tree with a full metal composition on the cheap.  Summer really is the best time to get a tree since I only paid $150 for a $300+ tree.  It also doubled the amount of tips I had.

So naturally, I need more ornaments.  The following are what I've grabbed up so far.  I've organized them by store just in case something catches your eye.  I should probably put a disclaimer that I have the tackiest tree you've ever seen and I wouldn't have it any other way.  I want my tree to burst with happiness and fun, so I mix a ton of colors and textures and holiday genres from rustic to vintage (my favorite) to handmade to ice to just plain whimsical.

Trust me, you want to be at my house this holiday.

Crate and Barrel:

Peacock feather in glass bauble

Every year we get a photo ornament and I put our favorite couple picture from the year in it.

Teacher says "every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings."

Mistletoe

Swirly tree.  I have a colored one that's flat squiggles, now I have a 3D clear one.

Pier 1 Imports:

Oh the glitter!   Makes me miss retail.

Argyle.  You should see my sweater collection.

SoOoOo tacky!  I love it!  I have spray that matches this and they even ring.

Why yes, that is an ornament of a balloon animal.  Dinosaur to be exact.  They have a few other animals too.

Snowflakes.  Pretty!  Pretty!  I hope we see a little less snowflakes this year then the last.

His legs are so tiny and his belly is so big...need I say more?

Polar bear snow globe.  The snow globe thing is very big with ornament this year.

Dancing snowman...with even tinier legs than Santa.

Garden flag...so cute

Khols:

Love doves.

Zoo Trip

Last weekend we traded in this muchkin with the grandparents so that he could have a play-date:

And upgraded to this munchkin and her older sister and took them to the zoo.

Now, if she doesn't make your ovaries hurt just a little bit I don't think you're quite human.  Little bitties K and N are positively the happiest and smartest babies in the world.  It was such a great day to take them to the National Zoo and catch up with their parents.

They grow so fast!  K is learning so many words and she got so excited to see the animals...mostly to see the ducks, but we'll take it!

She didn't even leave a note...

First, the exciting part of the night: Penelope ran away and no one knew she was gone until our neighbor knocked on our door: "Do you have a cat"--"uh, yeah, two of them"--"I think one of them is on my parent's deck"--"Couldn't be mine (not my perfect babies)...is it gray...silver tag..."--"yeah"  "(crap)."

I could see Oliver in the kitchen acting completely nonchalant and maybe even a little happy to be the only cat. (Or did I imagine that?). When I yelled to the basement to see if Mr. S had seen her, all I got was a "huh?"  Penelope was nowhere around, but I still denied that it could be our cat.   However, when I went over there, climbed up on their deck, there she was.  Stinker.

She went to our sweet, Indian neighbors two houses down and spent the day on their deck trying to get into their house. (I should just say how sweet and fabulous this older couple is because I adore them). I went over there and boy did she yell at me! That meow sounded exactly like "what took you so long."  I kid you not.  It might have even been that many cat syllables.

I tell you what, she is a DIVA. I still have no idea how precious Penel got out of the house.  I rectified the situation immediately by giving her wet food: her favorite...just to, you know, remind her how good we are to her.  I think she realizes that because she didn't protest at all when I carried her home holding her like a baby, which she hates.

But, I'm convinced she secretly loves it.  The lady doth protest too much...and might get back at us by pooping somewhere exciting!  Of course, that's only if she feels like the evil glares aren't working well enough.  The eye daggers are working, Penelope, promise...

Hum...as a precaution to pooping, I'll be paying Penelope some extra special attention tonight.

How in the world do you deal with stress?

Work has been bringing me down lately because I've had to deal with some extremely rude people. More specifically, rude people who are in a customer service capacity. It's a personal pet peeve since I have work people-oriented jobs forever.  Is being nice really that hard?  Apparently it is.

I got off the phone with said person today and went directly to the company candie corn. Not good.

Anything fun you recommend to cool down at work?  It took me the whole weekend to get over the crap from last week and it begins again.

Ugh, and just so you know, if you ever need to rent AV equipment in the DC area, let me know and I'll tell you who not to contact.  I have to draft a letter to the head of our event hall to complain because it has absolutely, 100% been that bad.

How do you manage to do it all?