Ms. Crabby Cakes

 Oh Lordy, I'm so behind!  Forgive me!  I went on vacation for my birthday and I've been feeling like I've been playing catch-up since we got back.

Our trip was wonderful!  If I ever get a chance to unload my camera and edit those pictures, I'll give you a little tour of what we did.  Until then, I'll leave you my little, insanely cheesy "postcard."

As far as the challenge went I wasn't entirely on the bandwagon since it was our vacation, but I did have a lot of stress-free "me" time.  S and I tried out a lot of great mom and pop restaurants and some amazing seafood.  Because we were eating out so much, I really focused on stopping when I was full and not feeling guilty about leaving food on my plate.  I think I did really well with that exercise and I felt great for doing it.  I also went grocery shopping while we were there for in-room snacks and that helped.

Last week the challenge group eliminated gluten and I have failed, oh-so-hard, at this.  I've never, ever, ever had to think about it and it is completely out of my train of thought when I'm planning meals.  If I got diagnosed with a gluten allergy tomorrow, I don't know what I'd do.  Obviously, I would start to become more aware of it, but right now I don't even realize I've eaten it until it has already gone down the hatch. Right now, I'm just trying to be as aware as I can and if I do happen to eat gluten I'll try to notice if I feel any difference.

I don't know if it was all the seafood I ate on vacation or just having to go back to everyday life, but I've been in a crabby mood this week.  The newest part of our challenge has arrived at just the right time: positive thoughts and affirmations.  The past two days it seems like as soon as I walk in the door in the afternoon nothing goes "right" one thing after another has happened or gotten on my nerves or cause me to nit-pick.  By the time I got on the call last night I hadn't eaten since noon, I'd cleaned and had a dust reaction, I'd work myself into a migraine and we were talking about self-love and balancing multiple aspects in your life to create an even harmony.  It SO was not what I wanted to talk about.  Luckily, I was at least smart enough not to do some of the exercises during the call because I would have just said "everything about my life sucks and here's the laundry list."  That is not effective and I realize that.  Perception is half the battle, right?

Tonight the biggest blow came when one of my personal goals in life and for the challenge just exploded.  I've been working so hard to get my 1 year old dog to walk on the leash without pulling, without lunging at other dogs, and without getting super excited at anything that strikes his fancy.  I've taken him out every day this week except yesterday because it rained.  He did marvelously!  No pulling what-so-ever and he didn't care about any of the other people out walking, any smells, any other dogs or kids or bikes.  Such a proud fur-baby moment!

Tonight, on the other hand, was the complete reverse.  I took him for a warm up just down our street to work off some energy before we went to the other neighborhoods.  S joined us, which rarely happens because I'm the one with this vendetta that our dog must be a good walker.  So Bram got super excited that "daddy" was walking too and instantly started pulling.  I corrected that and he was doing ok as we left the neighborhood.  Then some middle-schoolers were walking their large-ish dog and he went crazy, I tripped, fell, ripped the only 1 of 2 pairs of jeans that still fit me, and got a 6 inch gash on my knee and busted some knuckles.

Let me tell you, I was the little piggy that cried all the way home.  I wasn't crying because I was hurt I was crying because I just want to enjoy a nice walk with my dog and he was doing so ,well, perfect!  So frustrating.

I'm not sure how I got into all that...kind of a ramble, right?  However, I'm going to be working on thinking about the positives a lot this week.  I used to be so good at that, but somewhere along the line I've gotten a bit jaded.  It really only takes my commute to work in the morning to get me frazzled.  I've been reading a lot of excerpts from Thoreau's Walden Pond the past two days, which is excellent reading to coincide with this part of the challenge.  I'm hoping that good old Thoreau will give me some insight and lift my spirits...except I really can't go build a cabin in the woods and live completely on the land...but, I'll use it as a metaphor.

The other part of the challenge is dairy, which I've got in the bag, except for cheese.  I'm lactose intolerant, but I love cheese.  I really wouldn't trust a person that doesn't like it.  :)  My vacation fully affirmed my problem with milk because I had one of the worst reactions I've ever had after eating handmade local ice-cream.  It was good, but I'm not even sure it was worth what came afterwords.